We Can't Find Reverse
21 June 2017 11:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
It was nine months at the start of June; I didn’t think to note it at the time. Things were—and indeed are—on a pretty even keel. I finessed my way out of the burnout, and while I wasn’t as up as I wanted to be, I was, and I still am, on an even keel.
Tonight, the longest night, was the first night I was hit by it in a long time. Stupid shit, looking in one of the kitchen cupboards and thinking “this is Jane’s”, like I have a hundred times since we split, but this time I noticed myself thinking it, and felt shitty because of it. Not for any reason beyond that I do still think it. Because while I’m still thinking that, have I really moved on?
I have no idea. Is it even possible to “move on”? What does “moving on” actually mean? All I can do is move forwards.
Re: thinky thoughts
Date: 2017-06-23 04:45 pm (UTC)Im pretty sure I won't throw up if I see Alan and his mid life crisis, but I'll spend a few hours feeling raw.
Sometimes it comes back for a visit, it rarely stays for the weekend anymore, and only for the occasional night
Remember to look back to three months ago, things have changed since then?
I still think about the stuff that was ours, it's just a fact life and I'm relatively neutral about it now