So it was father's day not long ago.
Having recently learned from my father that I'm actually contractually obliged to own a copy of Bachman Turner Overdrive's You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet0
, I was trawling the local HMV looking at the "Father's Day Specials". You know the kind. 30 Rock Greats. The Top 50 Rock Songs. In the end, I found what optimistically called itself The Ultimate Rock Collection. 100 tracks for £6, including BTO. Safe. Also includes a lot of stuff that I've never actually owned, only enjoyed on the radio and from afar.
I'm a big fan of this collection. I think this is a sign of the aging process; I'm now in the segment that gets marketed to with "Dad Music". Then again, they were advertising Unknown Pleasures
in the same section, so maybe the chain are just letting their employees with taste select what to put on discount, I dunno.
But this collection has two problems1
. The first is that it's a Rock
collection. So what the unholy cunting fuck is Toploader's Dancing in the Moonlight
doing within a hundred metres of the collection? But hey, maybe it's a brain-fart, or they could only come up with 99 tracks that they had rights to. Who can say?
The greater crime is Kula Shaker's Hey Dude
. Don't click on that link if you have taste, by the way. It's the worst excess of the Band that Killed Britpop, a hideously self-indulgent pile of toss that drinks a toast to its own brilliance without actually being any good at all
. Why yes, I do hate Kula Shaker. They're an entirely formulaic band. I'm certain that Satan sends Gød a copy of Kula Shaker's K
every year, as a reminder of why no, Old Nick ain't coming home. And Gød has to admit that yeah, he fucked up because he let Uriel create a band and said archangel created the most bland, by-the-numbers atrocity that any consciousness could possibly conceive of. And Satan points out that it happened again when Gød let Gabriel create a band and the schizophrenic nutjob created Hansen.
Fortunately, it's two clicks to Ace of Spades
followed directly by Screamager
and Eton Rifles
, a direct explosion of music that scours the crap away. So it's really not all bad.0
: I'm not sure how much I'm allowed to say, but needless to say some nameless beings got involved and it was only through the timely intervention of the single on vinyl that my family still exists.1
: I know that in theory musical taste is subjective. I'm sure that somebody, somewhere, might actually like that dur-chigga dur-chigga shite2
and retain a functioning brain, but I haven't yet met them. Likewise, actually liking Kula Shaker is a sign that you should shut the fuck up when it comes to talking about music.2
: To quote Jimmy Nail. Don't judge me.